By Tobechukwu Nneji.
As you grow from baby boys to soldier toddlers; from shy kids to conscious teens; from mischievous youth to… well … the kind of man you are now, there is a constant change. You start to grow hair in funny places, muscle, skin and flesh where there used to be none.
Blood flows to certain areas at certain times, and then soon, an increased awareness of age and the need to have a life. As that need grows, the need to have a partner comes up. Although, considering the current trend, the need for ‘a partner’ usually comes up right when the funny hairs start to come up… lol.
Anyway, a lot of guys may have reached a point when they say to themselves; ‘ok, enough of the speed. It is time to take it slow and make it work, its time to have a life’… or something remotely resembling that speech or in this case, thought band.
Usually there are two problems:
1. Your Life really isn’t up to Speed yet:
When I say your life isn’t really up to speed yet, I mean, you really have not reached the point of self-satisfaction and self-sufficiency. Now I know a lot of you are thinking “ha she is about to be all about money”, well, sorry to not disappoint you, because, yes I am about to be all about money, but may be not the way you think, plus, it isn’t only money I am about to be about.
I mentioned self-satisfaction and self-sufficiency, (I wish I changed the order). Anyway, I will take on self-sufficiency first because that is the part that I really don’t want to disappoint you about.
Being self-sufficient means being able to carter for yourself and your needs. You are the boss of your life… the governor, the mayor, the CEO. You give yourself orders, carryout your orders, develop your needs and take care of them. You make plans and see them through; you do not benefit from any person’s benevolence, including your parents, siblings, no one at all.
To the extent of your immediate needs, you provide and provide SUFFICIENTLY. To pull this off, you don’t need a prophet to tell you that you need money. So, to be self-sufficient, you need an adequate and some worth, steady source of income. Now, that alone won’t get you through the rest of your life, you also need to be investment conscious. That way, you know you are not going to go bankrupt without prior warning.
Now, in all this, the functional words are PROVIDE SUFFICIENTLY YOUR NEEDS. If your needs can be handled with 10 grand and you got an income that brings in 12 grand, you are well off, your life is up to speed. If your needs require 5 million and you got an income of 4million, your life isn’t up to speed. Like I always say, wealth is standard… its relative.
2. You Can’t Seem to ‘Find’ the Right Person:
Did you notice that find is in quote? well, that is because a whole lot of times, its really not that you can’t find the perfect girl, but that you have not made yourself the man to attract and keep the perfect girl.
This ‘life partner’ thing is a two-way street… she got to be perfect for you, you got to be perfect for her. Usually, it works best when you start out trying to be the perfect man for the ‘perfect’ girl. A whole lot of times, we ladies are torn with the fact that a lot is expected of us.
There are whole lot of dos and don’ts where we are concerned and then once a man gets in the picture, the rules get even more… unless of course, we decide to be rebellious and are ready to live with people calling us names and whispering a whole lot of unprintable stuff about us. Anyway, it is about you guys. Remember, I am your regular good old buddy… with a figure… lol.
Now, making you a ‘perfect’ man to attract and keep the perfect woman comes with a lot. The idea is to make yourself a man extraordinaire. The first thing you can never forget to work on to improve you and bring you closer to being the perfect man for the perfect woman, is your confidence… careful though, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.